i am in pittsburgh. i'm working on revamping the ford institute's website and making a contact data base and doing this research project that never ended when the semester ended.
nothing is more telling of an organization than its website. scary.
i somehow landed up here in an office tweaking my clerical skills when i told myself that i never want to be working in an office when i leave school.
hello air conditioning.
life has been strange as always. how has your strange life been?
my anxiety for making deadlines has passed however there is still a persisting tension that i should be doing something, i should be getting graded for something, i'm still yearning for approval through printed out pages covered in sweat and blood (no, not really)...
my brother graduated and i'm proud. i want to see him go places and use his dome. he's a smart guy and i think he'll be happy once he starts doing what he enjoys. and then everyone around him will be happier :)
so yes, i'm in pittsburgh and will be for the summer. i get into these arguments in my head about whether i should be enjoying now or later (now = hanging out, being a roommate, being present in my own apartment for longer than sleepy time, spending time in parks, investing time on a bike and whatnot/ future = having had a worthy internship although it isn't the enjoyable "now" that i want, it will payoff for an idolized enjoyable "future" working with a well paying job). honestly, i want to enjoy now. i want to just be in pittsburgh for a summer and not run off somewhere for a bit. (footnote: i am going to disney world in june with family and to lancaster with boyfriend this month and maybe bolivia at the end of summer if the dough rolls in). am i the only person who thinks about this? i mean at my age? i sometimes feel like i go through phases that a teenager would go through or a middle aged woman. not a twenty something year old young woman though.
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