i had a little kid moment tonight. similarly to the time i went to a tractor/hunting store and reported seeing a strange chicken foot in the aisle to an employee when i was about seven. i thought somebody was sick enough to cut off a foot and put it in the store as a joke. i was later explained that dogs chew on chicken feet.

we saw a red vertical line in the sky. it was pulsating. it was not moving. and it was not the moon.

i think there are some changes in my way of thinking. i can't ask the same questions the way i used to.

it doesn't make sense to question whether "poverty" exists in places where property rights and accumulation of wealth do not exist. we define poverty because we know that unequal distributions exist and we can see what we don't have or what others don't have.
this isn't the point.
people are malnourished and neglected by their governments.
that is the point.

it also becomes impractical to apply philosophical concepts to my reality once i'm involved with others' affairs. i sometimes think about how selfish philosophy can be. it doesn't make sense anymore to think about my own existence and absurdism once i have human beings relying on me to help them with their basic needs of survival.
my existence is not the point.
taking my privileged life and applying what i've learned to those who do not have it.
that is the point.

it is so hard to see things in black and white.


the reason for the tear in the sky - yet to be discovered. it could be from a large gas leak. i'll get back to you...